Just Because You Didn’t Post It, Doesn’t Mean It Didn’t Happen

Our lives are overrun by social media. Not a half hour goes by that we are not confronted with a screen. While there are many virtues in technology today, the sheer volume of information we’re confronted with is not only overwhelming, but distracting. We are so used to being “plugged in” that it has become a default way of being: you’re probably not a stranger to checking Instagram or Facebook on your smart phone while waiting for a pot to boil. We all do this. And while we proclaim that we’re so busy and that we have no choice but to stay connected at all times, this simply isn’t true, is it? The less flattering reality is that we have become reliant on this distraction. We can’t wait for a friend to arrive at a coffee shop without reaching for our newsfeeds.

Ironically, you’re probably standing in a queue somewhere as you read this. Why do we do this? Why has it become so difficult to look up and smile at a stranger? Our constant access to technology has become a screen between ourselves and others; a social mask behind which to hide ourselves. But there’s a price to pay. And that’s loneliness.

Social media isolates us

We have never been more connected, but at the same time, we have never been more isolated from each other. We fear connection and really being seen. It’s become easier to create a profile so that world sees only your flattering angles and how interesting you are. Everyone has become so cool. It has never been more about image. It’s all we have access to. The surface is all we’re willing to share. You don’t ‘like’ that controversial post because you’re worried what someone might think. You do ‘like’ that controversial post because you’re trying to make a point. It’s all so calculated, so conceited. Even if you’re not aware of it, everything we choose to share online says something about how we want others to perceive us.

Some might argue that social media offers an incredible opportunity for self-expression and a way of connecting with like-minded communities. And this is true. But very few people only log in once a week to read an article or catch up with a friend. Most people are on social media ALL THE TIME. We can’t eat a meal without posting a photo of it; we can’t meet a friend without telling everyone about it. And while there is nothing intrinsically wrong with this, the energy we invest in living our lives online is totally out of whack. We have lost connection with the moment, with the person sitting across the table with us, with ourselves.

So what do we do? How do we begin to rid ourselves of all this superficiality? It’s so simple. TURN IT OFF! Nothing bad will happen. I promise. You might actually enjoy that meal a lot more if you’re not fiddling with filters while you eat it. Your partner might actually feel more witnessed if you’re not on your phone while they tell you about their day. You might feel more connected to them if you actually start listening to what they’re saying without distraction. And you don’t have to post a pic of your running shoes every time you go to gym. It still counts. Show up for your life because it’s happening right now. You can smell it, see it, touch and taste it. Don’t miss out because you’re afraid. Who knows, maybe the girl at the book shop likes you back. So put down your phone and go speak to her because life doesn’t happen on a screen.