What the Divine Mother is now birthing in all those open to her is a vision of total relationship between heart, mind, body, and soul, so that through that deep sacred relationship, we can come into the unified force field of reality, become completely embodied and present, and use that inner love to express our longing to see the world transformed. What is really at stake is this: If we continue to have a vision of relationship as purely personal, purely private, and something that we cultivate only for our own pleasure, we will keep feeding the tragic narcissism that is now ravaging the planet on every level.
The real thrust and purpose and meaning and divine importance of relationship is to give us the fuel to take on the world, the energy to keep on pouring ourselves out for the creation of a new world. It is critical to remember that this crisis we are facing is a crisis in which the sacred powers of love in the human soul are being diverted by distraction, by greed, by ignorance, by the pursuit of power, so that they never irrigate the world and transform it. What is needed is a vision of evolutionary relationship as a relationship that helps us come into the real, take responsibility for it, and enact our sacred purpose with a partner, and for the world: when two lovers come together in this dynamic love consciousness, they create a transformative field of sacred energy, from which both can feed to inspire their work in reality.
Both beings need to be plunged individually into a deep and passionate devotion of the Beloved [Divine], by whatever name they know the Beloved, because without both beings centering their life in God, the relationship will never be able to escape the private circle. From the very beginning, it must be centered in the Divine. It must be a relationship that is undertaken in the conscious presence of the Divine for the Divine’s great work in the Universe. Only a relationship that is centered in God, and that has God as the prime actor in the relationship, will be able to bear the vicissitudes of authentic love, of dealing with the challenges of life and service in the world.
Both lovers [need to] completely abandon any Hollywood sentimentality about what relationships actually are. As love becomes more evolutionary and conscious, so does each lover’s understanding of each other’s shadow. One of the essential roles of this new love is to make each person in the relationship the safe-guarder of the other’s shadow—not the judge of the other’s shadow, not the denier of the other’s shadow, but someone who recognizes where the other has been wounded, and safeguards and protects them with unconditional compassion without allowing themselves to be mauled or manipulated by the other. This takes an immense effort, because it takes an immense effort to understand your own shadow, and an even greater effort to face and comprehend, without illusion, denial or repulsion, the shadow of the other.
If you are going to enter into the evolutionary process, you have to accept that it never ends, never stops unfolding. There is no end to transformation, because divine love is infinite. Evolution is fundamentally a death/rebirth cycle that repeats itself in higher and higher dimensions, and any authentic evolutionary relationship must have the courage to go through the deaths that engender the rebirths.
From the very beginning of this adventure into evolutionary love you must make the commitment for it not to be just a personal orgy, a cultivation of an oasis of private pleasure. You must engage consciously in this relationship, to make you stronger, to serve the planet, to recognize that it is a relationship not only grounded in God, not only infused by sacred practice, but it is from the very beginning dedicated to making both people more powerful, more reflective, more passionately engaged. We need a major revolution of the heart to empower everyone to step forward and start doing the work of reconstruction and recreation that is now desperately needed.
Authentic right livelihood is rare in this world, but when you see a glimpse of it, possibly even in yourself, you must dedicate yourself to a form of service that really absorbs your deepest gifts. And your partner needs to be involved either with you or act separately. Otherwise, the great ideal of evolutionary love, the ideal that an evolutionary love can co-create with the Divine a wholly new world and provide the kind of ecstasy, fuel, energy, passion, and truth for this great transformation cannot be realized.
Unless the two people involved in the relationship have an equal commitment to really pouring themselves out in right livelihood, they are in tremendous danger of using their relationship as an addictive drug, which is unfortunately what a great many tantric practitioners do. They use the pursuit of ecstatic relationship as a way of escape, to avoid deep plunging into the world. This is a subtle, but lethal, form of narcissism and aborts the evolutionary impulse.
The adventure of evolutionary love exposes you to yourself. It reveals to you that for all of your mouthing of sacred truths and your desire for passion and unity and commitment, there is a whole part of you that is lazy, slothful, in denial, corrupt, and profoundly narcissistic. This is shocking, but it is essential to encounter this [shadow] part of yourself, because you will be dealing with it in ever subtler forms as the transforming process grows more and more intense.
Evolutionary love will not be able to be incubated in the current religious, guru, or New Age systems because it demands that people step outside the religious inhibitions of all of the major systems and claim their divinity and do this radical work of marrying the authentic self [within], rooted consciously in its light-origin to its mission of sacred service. Most people look for a “correct” way of being, a “correct” way of being love [i.e. the disease of spiritual/political “correctness”]. They lose the authenticity of their own spiritual embodiment.
The essential part of the transformation we are seeking, this grassroots unleashing of love-in-action, has to come through a profound respect for every individual authenticity and for the sacred task of every individual spirit. That requires a smashing of the idols. ”Enlightenment” doesn’t have to be projected outwards [on to gurus/masters/others to follow with its side effect of group/hive mind/follower thinking]. But very few mystical or religious leaders are really giving that message. The New Age claims to give that message, but then, it defines the authentic life as being peaceful, passive, and gentle, not seeing the negative – all of this nonsense.
Our authenticity is unique, yet it is indivisibly connected to love. We can only fully understand the nature of our own spirit when we dedicate it to service, for the love of the world. Marry the passion you discover when you reclaim and embody your unique self to the passion to serve the birth of a new humanity and you will be borne into a new level of power, energy, and effectiveness. Imagine what could be accomplished by two people loving and encouraging each other to live this most potent of marriages.”
~ Andrew Harvey & Chris Saade, Evolutionary Love Relationships
classes and Resources 