I never want to be seen as an equal to settler society.
Nor do I ever want to be seen as an equal in the eyes of the colonizer.
And I never want to be seen as “successful” within colonial systems.
It started when I was young.
It was lurking in the beginning stages of public speaking, of meeting with ministers, of being groomed in this space of false indigeniety to achieve colonial success.
It was intertwined in the statements of “you are going to be the next Prime Minister of Canada!” And the “you are so resilient. This is your line of work!”
I would sit there and melt into this feeling of success. These feelings of “I’m gonna do something big with my life.”
The feelings of “I am destined for greatness.”
But the greatness I thought I was destined for was only colonial greatness.
These colonial systems…