This week lend a sympathetic ear: practice empathy with a friend, an acquaintance or even a stranger. Focus on the communication of empathy, along with the ability to understand another’s emotions, in the hope that it can facilitate clarity in experiences and more compassionate encounters in all relationships.
“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.”
~ Maya Angelou
Get into a heartspace of extreme compassion. Think of someone with whom you have a conflict. Put yourself in their shoes. How does it transform your awareness of their needs? How can you be of service to those needs?
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.
One lesson I teach is: You manifest that which your heart looks-to. Here’s Teal Swan giving a talk on this very topic. Enjoy.
On this first day of the New Year, handwrite a letter to a loved one (perhaps to yourself) to be opened at a later date.
It occurs to me that we allow ourselves to imagine only such messages as we need to survive. When was the last time you received a hand-written letter? Write a letter to yourself, perhaps full of your hopes and dreams as well as memories of people who have since passed away.
Here’s an idea: ask a young person to write a 10-page letter like that and keep it, sealed, to be sent to that person in, say, ten years from today. What a time capsule experience that would be for the young writer!
Slow down. This moment is full of wonder, why not take the time to cherish it?
Grace has the capacity to transcend even our darkest of spaces. It is a sudden miracle, basked in the light of loving-kindness. And, grace has the capacity to heal. These moments of grace teach us that there is always more to life than we can imagine. In those wondrous moments, we realize there is more to life than we can possibly imagine.
It is a whisper of feeling, almost intangible. Yet, it is powerful. Suddenly, you are in a different space. You feel almost weightless. The air is still, your breathing is slow, but what you are experiencing is clean and clear.
But, how do we open our hearts to grace?
I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief… For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. — Wendell Berry
Ask a child what is beautiful to them. Tell them what is beautiful to you, too.
We’ve let ourselves get caught up in the pace of our lives and we’ve become distracted from the important issues that we all need to work on together. This is not an excuse for our actions. It is what it is.
If you wrote an open letter to the children of the world, would you apologize to them?
“We shall walk together on this path of life, for all things are part of the universe and are connected with each other to form one whole unity.” ~ Maria Montessori
Think about and create a balance between Life and Work …
Often times we can feel overwhelmed by what we see as competing values: how can I be a good family member, a loving spouse, a supportive friend, pursue my hobbies and interests and maintain my career? For many of us, integrating all of these elements into a fulfilling and rewarding personal life and career is difficult.
Here’s an idea: Think about a person who you feel brings together all the parts of their life in a way that makes them successful. Identify three traits they have or values they embody that makes them successful and figure out how you can better integrate these characteristics into your own life.
Not only is it possible to create a greater sense of harmony among the different parts of your life while achieving greatness, it is necessary.
What does life mean to you? Bring a taste of life to a hospice-bound and/or elderly friend or acquaintance this week by accompanying them in some way for a short time. Counteract their boredom, loneliness and helplessness by infusing in life to bring back a level of quality to Life. Cats, dogs, birds and green plants in every room, and visiting children after school, triggers unexpected transformations.
“Where there’s life, there’s hope.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
“Each and every master, regardless of the era or the place, heard the call and attained harmony with heaven and earth. There are many paths leading to the top of Mount Fuji, but there is only one summit — love.“ ~ Morihei Ueshiba
Challenge the conventional, romantic notion of love today by feeling love towards a stranger. How does this connection expand your sense of self?
Love is an emotion, a momentary state that arises to infuse your mind and body alike. Yet this transient state holds much promise beyond feeling good; love can be poignant in shaping perceptions of who we are, how we relate to the world, and even our health. Far from being a private event, love is an experience shared between people when they connect in the spirit of goodness. And that connection is at the heart of love’s most telling effects: stretching us beyond our boundaries, inspiring awareness, and inviting us into a state of oneness.
“Love leads us into mystery where no one can say what comes next, or how, or why.” ~ Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg
“Contemplate the workings of this world, listen to the words of the wise, take all that is good as your own. With this as your base, open your own door to truth. Do not overlook the truth that is right before you. Study how water flows in a valley stream, smoothly and freely between the rocks. Also learn from holy books and wise people. Everything—even mountains, rivers, plants, and trees—should be your teacher.“ ~ Morihei Ueshiba
Take a moment to ask yourself: what is keeping you from a leap in your own life? There are any number of reasons one can think of to not do something. In this beguiling illustrated strip Grant Snider playfully reminds us that, for all our potential excuses, there’s nothing quite the like the feeling of leaping. Consider what it might feel like to take the plunge!
“Leap, and the net will appear.” ~ John Burroughs
Try thinking of a new habit that you really want in your life.
When trying to form new, meaningful habits, there are always the usual suspects getting in your way — forgetfulness, apathy, time constraints and self-doubt. The key lies in finding simplicity in the daily chaos of our lives. It’s about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, find happiness.
“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” ~ John Irving
Think back to when someone did something kind for you. How did it make you feel? See if these feelings can guide you in any way today.
Kindness has gracious eyes; it is not small-minded or competitive; it wants nothing back for itself … Kindness casts a different light, an evening light that has the depth of color and patience to illuminate what is complex and rich in difference.
“To be here is immense.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
This Thanksgiving, as you give gratitude for blessings in your life, think of someone with whom you have a conflict. How might you transform your interactions with this person.
How easy is it to “love your neighbor” when your intoxicated neighbor wakes you up in the middle of the night and insults you? For people dedicated to the path of nonviolence, like Arun Dada and his wife Mira Ba, it’s not only the right thing to do, it’s the only thing you can do. Instead of getting angry, they chose to try and transform the relationship through compassion. And in doing so they inspired their neighbor to replace his steady stream of obscenities with three words embodying their shared highest ideals.
“Whatever you do, make it an offering to me.” ~ Bhagavad Gita
Most people buy their first bonsai tree because they think it is attractive or will suit their decor. But this is not a good basis on which to make a choice. If you are a beginner, you should select a species that is easy to keep and that is appropriate for the conditions you are able to offer.
The best place to buy a bonsai and bonsai accessories is a specialist bonsai nursery. Finding sources should not be difficult if you have access to the internet, but take care before you purchase, as many so-called ‘specialists’ are not experts at all. They are middle men who have little or no experience or knowledge of bonsai. If you are serious about making your first purchase, then seek a second opinion about potential sources from a local bonsai club or horticultural society. Some large garden centers stock bonsai and may even have a resident expert to give you advice.
If you want to buy on the internet, make sure the firm is a reputable one. Download details of the address and telephone number, so that you can get in touch with the supplier if there are any problems. A specialist nursery, which gives personal advice, is always best, especially if you need an aftercare service such as repotting, care and advice. Department stores, shopping malls and hardware stores do not offer bonsai an ideal living environment, and trees sold from such outlets are rarely in good condition. The staff are also unlikely to know anything about growing and caring for bonsai or will not be able to offer any bonsai accessories; pots, tools, and will not be able to give you any aftercare regarding re-potting etc. If you are a beginner, avoid attempting to grow a tree from seeds or cuttings. It is perfectly possible to grow bonsai this way, but it can be a long and sometimes tedious process for a beginner.
Practice tuning into your true wealth so that you can more clearly see the abundance all around you. Today, take some time to write about three things you are grateful for. If you’re up for the challenge, make this a daily practice!
The world is filled with abundance, but because we stay tuned into what we do not have, we can spend our lives grasping for more, never really arriving. Awaken to the true and profound wealth we have all been blessed with. To awaken to this very moment is truth wealth. This moment is in truth all we really have and own. Everything else is just on loan; we must give it all back in the end.
“Let your capital be simplicity and contentment.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Think about how you define anger and how you might be able to channel that energy more constructively.
Anger can cause us a great deal of hurt, but it can also be a positive force that propels us to act and can spur creativity and fuel success. It is all about how we manage our anger in those instances when we feel overwhelmed by it. There is a “right way” to get angry and how you can harness your anger for good.
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
In what way can you use what you do for a living to help others in a small but meaningful way? How can you make this part of your daily or weekly practice, so it becomes a part of your life?
A Vancouver-based advertising company teamed up with a grassroots advocacy group to extend kindness to the city’s homeless population in a beautifully creative way. During the day, the [bus] benches serve as seating for those waiting for the bus to arrive. At night, the front lifts up and out to create an overhang. Acts of kindness like these stand out against the backdrop of many cities making it harder for the homeless population to survive. THANK YOU, VANCOUVER!
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” ~ Albert Schweitzer
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”. ~ Charles Chaplin
Practice Silence. Make a commitment to set aside some time everyday to reconnect to the silence inside of you, whether it be through meditation, gardening, or any other activity that brings you back to yourself.
Deep within each of us is a great well of health, abundance, knowledge, guidance. When we enter the silence and stay in the silence, we come into direct contact with that sacred well. In that place dwells our True and Higher Self: It is that part of us that exists and operates in a place where there is no time– no past, no future, only the present moment … One of the most powerful spiritual practices you can adopt is also one of the easiest to do.
“When I am silent, I fall into the place where everything is music.” – Rumi
Be a better leader in your community. As the world rapidly transforms around us each day, there is a growing need for us to create sustainable human communities. And in that vision, great leadership is paramount –leadership that not only calls for clarity of vision, but also a healthy dose of empathy that allows us to identify with, and understand, one another’s situations, feelings, and motives.
“If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.” ~ Chinese Proverb
Work to deepen your social interactions; find opportunities to remind others of their importance in your life.
Social media has transformed our daily lives — adding a brand new, and often much more complex, dimension to our interactions. And though it has facilitated the ease of our connections, there is a flip side. For example, studies have shown an inverse relationship between an individual’s Facebook usage and their sense of self-worth. And, we are only just beginning to understand its true impact on our lives.
“I fear the day technology will surpass our human interaction.” ~ Albert Einstein
Next time you need to get somewhere, see if you can rely on a map and the guidance of others to help make your way. You never know who you’ll meet or what you may see!
When’s the last time you pulled out a map to find where you were, or how to get where you were going? Do you even remember the last time you unfolded a map? When we gaze at our devices and scurry through the world in thoroughly efficient ways, we are forgetting the most important part of our sojourn on this watery planet. To connect with the other people who are here with us. You just might like to dig up some maps or peek into an atlas today …
“Not all those who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
Take a moment and think back to when you were half your current age. What advice would you have given yourself, and how can this inform the way you move through life today?
“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ~ Anne Frank
Heal others through laughter and joy. Laughter is a natural medicine – it lifts our spirits and makes us feel happy. Laughter is contagious. It brings people together and helps us feel more alive and empowered. Laughter therapy aims to use the natural physiological process of laughter to help relieve physical or emotional stresses or discomfort.
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” ~ Victor Borge
It is in offering dignity to others that our own dignity is revealed. Make your day an offering of dignity to others. Reflect on how it feels inside.
Death has everything to do with how we live. The honesty and grace of the years of life that are ending is the real measure of how we die. It is not in the last weeks or days that we compose the message that will be remembered, but in all the decades that preceded them. Who has lived in dignity, dies in dignity.
“There are those who forget that death comes to everyone. For those who remember, all quarrels come to an end.” ~ Buddha
Sit in a public space in your neighborhood. What do you notice about the people and the issues? If you’re feeling brave, interact with someone by starting a conversation or just saying hello!
“Flowers are not made by singing “Oh, how beautiful,” and sitting in the shade.” ~ Rudyard Kipling
Practice self-compassion today by writing a letter to yourself acknowledging all of your positive characteristics and attributes.
We live in a society where we often feel as though we are in a state of constant competition in all areas of our lives: work, relationships, hobbies, and in turn, we are often overly self-critical. Practicing self-compassion can help us to restore feelings of self-worth and instill an inner peace to propel us in our actions.
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~ Jack Kornfield
Alan Watts had a singular way of dispersing our illusory convictions about infinitely important dualities, such as belief vs. faith … or, money vs. wealth … or, productivity vs. presence … or, ego vs. true self … selfishness vs. gratitude … or, stimulation vs. wisdom … or, profit vs. purpose … or, the notions of hurrying and timing. In his essay “Does It Matter? Essays on Man’s Relation to Materiality (1970)”, Watts said:
“Just exactly what is the “good” to which we aspire through doing and eating things that are supposed to be good for us? This question is strictly taboo, for if it were seriously investigated the whole economy and social order would fall apart and have to be reorganized. It would be like the donkey finding out that the carrot dangled before him, to make him run, is hitched by a stick to his own collar. For the good to which we aspire exists only and always in the future. Because we cannot relate to the sensuous and material present we are most happy when good things are expected to happen, not when they are happening. We get such a kick out of looking forward to pleasures and rushing ahead to meet them that we can’t slow down enough to enjoy them when they come. We are therefore a civilization which suffers from chronic disappointment — a formidable swarm of spoiled children smashing their toys.”
He later addressed the last duality related to Timing thus: “there is indeed such a thing as “timing” — the art of mastering rhythm — but timing and hurrying are … mutually exclusive.”
Check in to yourself, BE PRESENT with what’s going on inside as you go into your day or relate to others …
“The prevalent sensation of oneself as a separate ego enclosed in a bag of skin is a hallucination which accords neither with Western science nor with the experimental philosophy-religions of the East.” ~ Alan Watts
Do something nice for someone today without expecting anything in return. Approach each person with the same, simple phrase — “I want to do something nice for you today.” Meaningful, ordinary human contact and respect is the remedy to dehumanization. Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.
Wonder
curiosity: a state in which you want to learn more about something
When you look with wonder at the stars
don’t wonder where I’ve been
or where you’ve been
When you look with wonder at the world
don’t wonder how I got here
or how you got here
When you look with wonder at the clouds
don’t wonder where I’ve drifted
or where you’ve floated
When you look with wonder at the seas
don’t wonder how many gulps I gasped
or how deep you may sink
When you look with wonder at yourself
don’t wonder how I see you
or how you might appear
Simply look with wonder.
Each of us has someone we are caring for, who needs help and attention. Practice observing on a deeper level, trying to intuit what that person needs.
“The secret in caring for the patient is caring for the patient.”
~ Victoria Sweet, M.D., Laguna Honda Hospital, San Francisco, CA USA
If you feel comfortable with technology, ask an elder in your life if there is a technology you can help them learn. If you do not feel comfortable with technology, reach out to a loved one and give them an opportunity to share some of their knowledge with you.
Seniors who feel like today’s technology has left them in the dust are hitching a ride with a philanthropic gaggle of students who, in their spare time, are helping older generations return to the fast lane with their iPods, iPads, smart phones and computers. A group of teenagers who never knew a world before computers launched Wired for Connections/Mentor Up … designed to help senior citizens understand the basics of modern-day devices.” Incredible stories are surfacing from these interactions. For example, the teens helped a 93-year-old man contact a Jewish friend he used to protect from bullying just before World War II and enabled a 69-year-old artist to find photographs of Monet’s garden in Paris which she has dreamed of seeing all her life. Sean Butler, the 16-year-old who initiated this program, insists: “I’ve learned more during these sessions than I’ve taught…for me, just talking with them and learning their stories is what draws me back every time.”
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
~ Henry Ford
–by DENNIS TAYLOR, syndicated from truthatlas.com, Oct 02, 2014
Featured photo: Sean Butler, 16-year-old sophomore at Carmel (Calif) High School, mentors Judy Dudley on how to use her smart phone. Photo by Dennis Taylor
CARMEL, CALIFORNIA – Seniors who feel like today’s technology has left them in the dust are hitching a ride with a philanthropic gaggle of students who, in their spare time, are helping older generations return to the fast lane with their iPods, iPads, smart phones and computers.
A group of teenagers who never knew a world before computers launched Wired for Connections/Mentor Up, a club at Carmel High School in California, designed to help senior citizens understand the basics of modern-day devices and bridge part of what they perceive as the intergenerational divide.
Sean Butler, a 16-year-old sophomore, initiated the program two years ago, offering to share his tech knowledge in 45-minute, one-on-one mentoring sessions with members of the nearby Carmel Foundation, a membership organization for people 55 and older dedicated to facilitating successful aging by providing a broad spectrum of interactive activities and services. The sessions are provided free to member of the Foundation, which was founded in 1950 and now has more than 3,000 members.
Carly Rudiger, 17, a junior at Carmel High in California, teaches Jenifer Bovey, 69, how to use her iPad. Photo by Dennis Taylor
Carly Rudiger, a 17-year-old junior, joined Butler at the beginning of this school year and took his concept to another level, creating a full-fledged club at Carmel High. The pair oversees a group of about 15 classmates who, in exchange for community service credits, volunteer regularly to share what they know with any member who signs up. The waiting list has close to 50 names.
“I was probably 5 years old the first time I sat down at a computer,” Butler said. “It didn’t take me long to start figuring things out because I wasn’t afraid to play. It’s easier to learn technology if you’re not afraid of it and what holds a lot of older people back is that they’re afraid they’re going to mess something up if they play around and experiment. They don’t realize that most of the time you can just undo what you just did and get back to the place that you want to be.”
Seniors register for the classes (usually held on Saturdays), bring their device, an iPhone, Android, iPad, laptop or virtually anything else they’d like to learn more about, and receive hands-on instruction from their young mentors.
“I don’t come with my own agenda,” Rudiger said. “They ask me questions how to do this or that and I try to help them understand as many of those things as possible during our 45-minute session. I try not to overwhelm them with too much information because they can come back for as many sessions as they want.”
Before entering the mentoring program, the Carmel High contingent goes through “sensitivity training,” which, among other things, includes activities designed to help them better understand their aging pupils.
“One thing we did, for example, was smear a pair of glasses with Vaseline, so we could get an idea of what it might be like to have the kind of vision problems that some older adults live with every day,” Rudiger said. “We also taped fingers together and put tape over fingertips to try to replicate problems they might have with their hands. It can be frustrating to watch how slowly some of them are when they try to type, but the sensitivity training taught us that typing can be very difficult if your fingertips are numb.”
The graying “students” say they tend to learn much more during one-on-one instruction than they do in group classes they have tried. The fresh-faced “mentors” engage with a generation of people they barely knew before.
“I mentored a 93-year-old guy one day who started telling me about a Jewish kid he knew back in high school, right before World War II,” Butler recounted. “I guess the kid got bullied a lot and this man used to protect him.”
“I helped him find an article about his old friend online, and his reaction was really cool. It was pretty amazing for him to discover what his old friend became, and that made it exciting for me. We even found an email address so he could reconnect with his friend after all these years, which made him very happy.”
Carole Bestor, a 69-year-old hairdresser from Pacific Grove, received an iPad from her husband as a gift, but never used it until she sat down with Rudiger for a pair of 45-minute sessions. Her eyes widened and sparkled as her mentor helped her discover the possibilities of the device.
“It was really exciting to learn how to use email. I’ve always been a person who sends a letter or a card through the mail, but now I can email my daughter and also my girlfriend, who I went to high school with,” she said. “But I think the most exciting thing I learned about was Pandora, a place on the Internet where I can listen to music by anybody I like. I listened to Adele and Jennifer Lopez today.”
Rudiger helped Bestor discover that her tablet has a camera and showed her how to use it. Together, they took a selfie. Bestor, an artist, then learned how to surf the Internet to find hundreds of photos of Monet’s garden in Paris, something she has longed to see all her life.
Judy Dudley, who declined to give her age, used part of her 45-minute session with Parker to get acquainted with “Siri,” the Apple Corporation’s “intelligent personal assistant and knowledge navigator” that uses a natural language user interface to answer questions, make recommendations, and perform other tasks by delegating requests to a set of Internet services. “Siri” (a Norwegian name meaning “beautiful woman who leads you to victory”) answers commands from a smart phone in a female voice.
“It’s amazing,” Dudley said. “I just got this (application), and my granddaughter showed me a little bit about it, but she told me I was going to need a lot of help. I took a class at the Apple Store, but it was very confusing. Then I found out I could come here. These kids who are mentoring us are much smarter than we are about this stuff. None of this is natural to me, but Sean grew up knowing it, and he’s taking me step-by-step, telling me exactly what to do, making it all very easy.”
Carmel resident Ellyn Gelson, 69, and her 79-year-old friend, Bill Roulette of Woodland Hills, brought a higher level of tech savvy into the same session (she has owned a computer since 1997 and once had a Palm Pilot; he still uses the first-generation iPad), but got a worthwhile education from Butler and 17-year-old Carmel High senior Caroline Lahti.
“I learned a lot of things today that I didn’t know before,” Roulette said. “I discovered how to access the app store, and how to maneuver around the different applications. I found out how to get rid of stuff I don’t want anymore. And these kids taught me how to use my iPad to email photos and also to Skype. I never realized I could do those things.”
The teenage mentors are two-time recipients of a $1,000 grant from the American Association of Retired Persons, which this year included an all-expense-paid trip for Butler and Rudiger to AARP headquarters in Washington, D.C.
“I can honestly say that I feel like I’ve learned more during these sessions than I’ve taught,” Rudiger said. “I mean, obviously they’re taking in all this information and hopefully applying it every day but, for me, just talking with them and learning their stories is what draws me back every time. I love having those conversations.”
This week look for inspiration — to write or create in other ways — from another part of yourself.
We are more creative than we think. Picasso was once asked whether his ideas come to him “by chance or by design.” Picasso responded: “I don’t have a clue. Ideas are simply starting points … What I capture in spite of myself interests me more than my own ideas.”
Every child is an artist. The problem is staying an artist when you grow up.
~ Pablo Picasso
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